This summer, I will…
1. produce at least 2 tracks that I’m proud of
2. get published
3. re-learn Vietnamese
4. read the Bible
5. read at least 6 books
6. do paralegal work
It looks like I’m going to be pretty anti-social this summer. Luckily, I’m an introvert and it doesn’t really bother me. I’ve also just realized that most of the people I’ve met at this university are manipulative, opportunistic leeches who only want to see me if it is convenient and beneficial to their personal interests and have absolutely no qualms about consistently bailing on me if something even marginally more beneficial pops up.
On the one hand, it is flattering that people find me successful enough to attempt to ride on my coattails; on the other, I’ve become exponentially more distrustful and misanthropic as I see dishonesty more than honesty. It seems that people think it’s a waste of time to just hang out with someone for the sake of hanging out; everything has to further some goal. Everything is an investment. They’ve seen my growth trajectory and want to purchase stock.
I feel conceited even suggesting this, but I’m too perceptive a person to overlook people taking advantage of my generosity. When they do just enough nice things and flatter me just the right way before they ask for favors and then ignore me after they get what they want. And while I do want to develop a hard shell and play along in this game of manipulation, it is totally against my nature to have a friendship based on dishonesty. I have trouble compartmentalizing friends into those I can trust and those who will stab me in the back at the drop of a hat. How do I play along? How do I stop burning bridges every time I lose trust in someone? This is the one skill of the adult world in which I have fallen far, far behind. I’d rather have no friends at all.
Maybe I’m just being a child. Maybe it’s time to grow up and face the real world where people use each other and call it friendship and wonder why they’re lonely.
As strange as it sounds, my trip to Big Bend National Park really made me appreciate my government. I know it’s not particularly popular on tumblr to write in support of the status quo, but I felt so unbelievably grateful that something as spectacular as the Chisos Mountains was accessible to me. The fact that we have a government that built a road to the park and a campground with a grill and a bathroom and trails leading up a mountain and hired people to maintain its integrity and my safety just for the sake of beauty astounds me. I’ve spent a lot of the last few months decrying “the system” for forcing obligations on me and making me work just to live. It didn’t seem fair. What was I working for?
Why did I work 2 jobs last summer? Why did I work 18 hours a week in addition to a full school schedule? Why did I bust my ass for my GPA? Why am I working at a law firm this summer instead of sleeping all day? Am I just another corporate slave, supporting a system I don’t even believe in? I never got to see the fruits of my labor until this week. Sitting on top of that mountain, I thought, “This is what I’m working for.”
Would I like to sit on a mountain all day instead of working? Sure. But that’s the problem with living with other human beings. If everyone did nothing, we wouldn’t have food, we wouldn’t have medicine, we wouldn’t have mountains to sit on. I realized, when there are so many people in the world and only limited resources, it’s a give and take. You give to society. And then you earn your reward, whether it be sitting on a beach or riding a rollercoaster or climbing a mountain. The fact that these options are safely accessible to me because of my society is mind blowing. We don’t live in an anarchy where any land but our own would be inaccessible, where I’d be slaughtered just for setting foot into someone else’s territory. Now it’s all a matter of exchange. I used my hard earned money to sit on that rock, and it felt better than any trip my parents ever took me on.
That being said, not everyone has an equal opportunity to do these kinds of things. And now more than ever I realized that yes, society is great for allowing ME to do this. But it is flawed for depriving others of this opportunity who were not born into the same privilege as I was. And it is flawed for perpetuating systems of privilege and oppression. If there’s any way we can have a system of government that gives everyone the same opportunity as me to sit on a mountain, I’d really like to make it a reality. I’d like to think that somewhere between embracing the system and disavowing it, there is a happy medium where I can work to change it from the inside. And with this goal in mind, I think I am right where I need to be.
Capitalism wants you to feel ugly
One of my girl friends asked me the other day, “Is it just me or do you feel ugly whenever you watch commercials for beauty products?”
And I told her, “You should feel ugly. If you don’t feel ugly, the advertiser hasn’t done his or her job.”
Remember, capitalism relies on WANT (aka demand). If you don’t already want a product, the advertiser’s job is to convince you that you do. Just like those silly infomercials that try to convince you that without a state of the art spice rack, you’re a useless, bumbling mess, beauty companies have to convince you that you have a problem in need of fixing too.
Aesthetic beauty is a social construct that changes with time and culture. In a capitalist system, corporations have a strong incentive to create a beauty standard that can never be reached to generate unlimited demand. In order to stay afloat, beauty companies must teach you no matter what, your natural appearance is ugly. You can not be complacent with how you look; you must spend money to fix your natural appearance.
Wrinkles? Ugly. Body hair? Ugly. Body fat? Ugly. Born with fair skin? You ought to make it darker! Born with dark skin? You ought to make it lighter!
Why the strong push on marketing these images to women? Because we’ve already been raised and conditioned to place our self-worth in our appearance. Society already built an incentive system, so the job is half done!
There’s nothing wrong with caring about the way you look. Just remember, next time you feel ugly watching a commercial for foundation, that there is nothing wrong with you. You don’t have low self-esteem. You’re just stuck in a system that profits off you feeling like you do.
not a single one of us was thrust into this world of our own volition
why did we stay?
Don’t get any closer to each other
This is the most interesting thing I’ve seen all year.
I don’t know how to feel about this
I feel like this has some really deep meaning. I see it as two people can be close and it can allow for something beautiful, but as soon as they get to know each other too well it becomes ugly. Because if you knew every thought in someones head, the bad might out weigh the good. And you could never undo what you have learned about them. The spots on the butterfly’s wings are human eyes which have seen the truth but have no way of revealing it, or warning you not to get closer and protect the butterfly. The butterfly is their beautifully balanced relationship threatened by the knowing/seeing of too much, or closeness. The people symbolize anyone.
what the fuck is this ap english
I don’t understand why you would mock someone for interpreting this image considering obviously the illustrator drew it with symbolism.. for interpreting…
Anyway, this picture made no sense to me the first time I saw it. I dismissed it as poetic but largely inapplicable and didn’t even bother to save it for later. And now I just spent 15 minutes digging it up with silly key words because it so aptly explains my current situation.
Have you noticed that staying best friends with someone for 6 years is much easier than staying in a romantic relationship with someone for that long? In a relationship, the expectations are higher, the emotional stakes are higher, the gravity of the commitment is higher. Two people may lack the emotional maturity to be anything more than friends at one time but could develop the maturity in the future, after keeping their distance for the time being. The heartbreak that comes with a breakup often ruins any chance of a friendship afterward and two people who could be right for each other in the future might never talk to each other again out of hurt or pride or bitterness.
The stuffy clothing and formality of the handshake represents the emotional walls two people put up in any infant friendship or relationship. Although emotional walls keep two people from getting closer, they also distance them from the pain of allowing another person to handle their emotions. This picture depicts a delicate balance of refraining from becoming too close - because one or both of the parties cannot handle that much responsibility - to maintain what could later become a beautiful friendship or relationship.
Lastly, I want to offer an alternate interpretation of the eyes on the butterfly’s wings. Butterflies have eye-like imagery on their wings to appear like larger animals to dissuade predators from preying on them. It takes a certain amount of scrutiny to look at a butterfly’s camouflage and realize its strength is an illusion, hiding its true fragility. Having too much blind confidence in a shaky relationship’s ability to last, although well-intentioned, can spell its demise.
Staying friends still presents a precarious and risky situation because both parties must preserve a delicate balance, as I said before, that they are not wholly aware of. However, going separate ways and unlocking the blades until both parties shed the emotional burdens keeping them from being together may allow for the most favorable future.
When the rain washes you clean, you’ll know
Over a majority of this school year, I have been undergoing a massive transformation. I have discovered my capacities as a human being, morally, intellectually, spiritually. I have become fuller with potential than ever before. And I know this transformation is only beginning, with no signs of stopping.
Maybe this was the Universe’s way of catalyzing me to action while still giving me the time to achieve my potential in so many other ways. He dropped into my life and made me passionate about DJing, which has since taken off in ways I never could have imagined. But more importantly, he taught me that even though I was reluctant to enter a relationship, somewhere behind my hard exterior, I had the capacity to LOVE and GIVE and GROW with another person.
I learned that I could let my walls down. And that in doing so, this relationship didn’t end in bitterness and regret. Instead I look at the future with optimism, with the knowledge that I have a tenderness in me that emanates toward those I love. So even if this person wasn’t the right person, those feelings were still mine. And I’m proud. I’m a better person after this.
Yesterday my mom called to tell me that one of my friends in women and gender’s studies had gotten a teacher’s assistantship at Oxford University and an offer for grad school at Princeton. Those were her dreams, and she achieved them. I immediately realized how far my priorities have fallen, that the Universe still has plans for me, that the train is still running, and I can only fall behind for so long. I realized I still have HUGE goals and only a very limited amount of time to achieve them. NOW is the time.
This past chapter of my transformation has ended. And I have gleaned as much from it as I can. It’s time to open the next chapter. I can feel that it will be even more full of excitement and wonder than the last.
“Ugh, well he only dates Asian girls. You’re so lucky you’re Asian.”
- a friend with a crush on a guy who apparently is afflicted with a social disease called “The Yellow Fever.”
Oh, I’m lucky? I’m lucky. Okay, so you’re saying that I’m lucky that there are guys out there with a “thing for Asians” who will only set their sights on women with small eyes and brown skin like me? I’m lucky that people will proudly proclaim their “Yellow Fever” and make me feel like the only thing that attracted them to me was my race- objectifying me as some kind of exotic treat and not treating me like an individual with value? I’m lucky that when I was internet dating last year, a guy told me that he had found me by searching for ONLY Asian women? I’m lucky that “What kind of Asian are you” is deemed a suitable ice breaker and pickup line for guys who hit on me at parties, clubs, and bars? I’m lucky that I’ve gotten told once under the guise of a compliment that I could make a lot of money in porn because I’m an Asian woman with large breasts? I’m lucky that a couple months into a relationship with my ex, I opened up his computer to check my email and I saw that he had searched “ASIAN” on a porn site and was halfway through a video with a whole bunch of white guys ejaculating on an Asian woman’s face? I’m lucky that ever since that experience I have constantly questioned if any of the other people I’ve been involved with or who have found me attractive only felt that way because I’m Asian? Right. I’m not lucky, sweetie. I’m being objectified, exotified, and hypersexualized. These are not things I will ever aspire to be or be flattered by, regardless of what society may want me to think.
For a while, I admit that I tried to use this “yellow fever” thing to my advantage. It’s incredibly easy to seal the deal with a dude that exclusively has a thing for Asian women. You literally tell them what kind of Asian you are, tell them the words you know in that language, and giggle. Giggle a lot. That’s it! But you know why it’s so easy? It’s because these guys do not give a fuck who I am. I could just as easily be another person entirely. The only thing that matters to these guys is that I’m Asian and everything else is unimportant. And, once I figured that out, it made me sick to my stomach. Settling for being treated like nothing more than an exotic souvenir gets really old really fast. I am a real person. I am an individual with depth and emotion and interests and flaws. My skin and my eyes and where my ancestors came from do NOT make me your tantric Asian sex goddess. And, if you think for one second that I will entertain your exotification of me and my people any longer, you can kiss my brown ass.
…I have absolutely nothing to add to this.
Perfect Post is Perfect.
My friend’s father put it simply: “These white people see us as toys. When they are bored, they will throw you away.”
And it’s sickening that I have to live with someone like that for one more month…and he very specifically goes for Japanese women. It terrifies me that he’s going there abroad next year. I hate him. He is scum. I’ve warned all the Japanese students he talks to here on campus about him. kdfjghkdfhg
Seriously. I warn all of my female friends from Asia to watch out for men with a exotic Asain fetish because they will hunt you. They don’t care who you are. They do not really care what country you are from we’re just blow up dolls to them.
And then there’s the ones that will date you to get a free tutor in __ language.
This is why I am extremely wary of white men.
Yes yes yes yes.
If being Asian is a must for a White guy, there are really only two things this can mean. Either he’s extremely shallow and values the Asian aesthetic above all else; that is, his only criteria in a partner is good looks and good looks only includes the Asian aesthetic.
Or more commonly, if he’s not merely shallow, he has some preconception of a non-physical commonality among all Asian women. But what could that be? I’ve asked guys with Yellow Fever what draws them to Asian women and they respond with assumptions like “They’re so humble” or “They’re well-mannered and classy” or worse “They’re submissive” and “They’re docile and know their place unlike Western women.”
If these are traits you’re looking for in a woman, then why not name those as your defining criteria? Why must this theoretical well-mannered, classy, submissive, docile woman be ASIAN? This is why I included the word “merely” in this second category, because the necessity of being Asian in addition to these non-physical traits entails a certain attraction to this aesthetic, which has, unfortunately, become inextricably attached in these guys’ heads. To them, we are ideas. Not people. This is where Yellow Fever becomes not only weird but outright racist and deeply, deeply problematic.
By assuming that all Asian women embody these traits, these men dehumanize us to nothing more than a pet. Do these descriptions remind anyone of a dog breed encyclopedia entry reading “Friendly” “Good with kids” “Energetic” etc? The idea that someone outside of my culture thinks he can define my culture, my friends, my family for me in a few phrases just reeks of colonialism and a skewed power dynamic. Do these people think the minds of Asian women are so comparatively simple that they can be studied and synthesized in the same manner as animals?
White Privilege Is A Good Thing
Right now most of you reading this are going through various phases of Did I read that right?, Boo. You whore. and my personal favorite, I’m going to murder this mo—fu—- cunt.
Is it bad that white people can turn on the TV and see themselves widely portrayed in a positive manner? No. Is it bad that white people can misspell a word and not have it blamed on the inherent illiteracy of their race? No. Is it a bad thing that white children can go to a gas store for candy and not be shot to death on suspicion? No.
Privilege is a good thing to have. We all want these things. The problem isn’t that white people enjoy these aspects of life- it’s that other people don’t get to. We shouldn’t be tearing down and bitching about white privilege- we should be extending them to everyone who does not already enjoy them. And then we should stop calling Privileges and start calling them Rights, because that is what they are.
Moreover, this should not stop with race. For every type of Privilege out there, what we really hate is the fact that other people are devoid of certain rights. Let’s focus on Black Rights, Woman Rights, Homosexual Rights, Asian Rights, Pagan Rights, and everything in between.
And then maybe one day we can stop all the distinctions and call them People Rights, aka Common Courtesy.
And while I’m on the subject, let’s briefly talk about what privilege is not. Privilege does not mean you get to be the person who slanders another. When a man catcalls a woman on the street, that is not Male Privilege. That is being an asshole. It is an aspect wholly separate from Privilege, which here might be, Male Privilege means your body is not constantly sexually objectified. The privilege lies in the good things men can enjoy, the privilege does not mean he can turn around and then destroy the rights of others. This is Rude. It is Abuse of Another, and it is not forgiven by whatever special niceties men enjoy. A tricky line, yes, but the distinction must be made nonetheless.
I love you guys’ shitty reaction images. I really do. But the only problem I see with the OP is that it implies a difference between destroying white privilege and extending the same advantages to everyone else.
Which is probably a little bit of a semantics issue, but it should still be noted that once all people are treated equally, white privilege will cease to be either white or a privilege.
Aside from that I don’t see why any of you have a problem with what this person is saying because the message is really just “It’s not bad that white people are treated well by society; it’s just bad that others are not.”
I think people use the word “privilege” in itself as a way to discuss power dynamics, that is, juxtapose what is a right in theory with what is a privilege (that has been taken away from some groups) in society due to racial inequalities. So, no, “white privilege” is not a good thing, because they shouldn’t be privileges. Human rights are a good thing; white people get more of them than people of color, hence they are “privileged.” I agree with what the OP is saying, but the title contradicts the content…
We’re all underdogs looking for our big break
I’ve found that the root of a lot of insecurity and unhappiness is the desire to be special. We find it painful to imagine that in the grand scheme of things we’re insignificant as individuals. We are raised believing that the pinnacle of success is fame. If everyone knows your name, you’ve made it. Happiness lies in the recognition and exaltation of our special irreplaceable uniqueness.
I considered that maybe this neurotic self-absorption is inherent (and necessary) to uphold capitalism. Every movie about the unspectacular underdog protagonist coming out on top, every rap song about leaving the hood for a life of lavish spending, every public figure exalted for emerging from humble beginnings is just a reiteration of the American Dream. This rags to riches narrative told again and again and again assures us that if we cling to the selfish dream that we will beat out our peers, we will achieve (material) success. Without the underdog story, we would be forced to accept the fact that a vast majority of us will end up in the same economic class as our parents. The rich stay rich, and the poor stay poor. But the hope that you’ll be that success story keeps the capitalist system alive.
But I wonder if we’d be happier if we weren’t in constant competition with our peers. Would we be happier if we took pleasure in increasing the well-being of others - in finding comfort in the health of the community - instead of using them as stepping stones to our own success?
Moral binaries and simplification of moral problems
In any given issue, people make value claims on multiple moral questions. Let’s take a few key questions from the issue of abortion:
1. Is a conceptus considered a human life?
- If so, what are the extent of its rights?
- By what measure (trimester, viability, etc) are its rights determined?
2. Under what circumstances is it morally permissible to terminate a conceptus?
- In cases of rape?
- As a form of birth control?
- To select the sex of the child?
This is only a small fraction of the total questions that can arise from one moral issue. The pro-life and pro-choice binary actually does not explain much. People will inevitably answer these questions differently even if they identify with the same label (i.e. the argument over abortion in cases of rape). More realistically, there is a spectrum of positions from extreme liberal to extreme conservative. (Just look at how nuanced Roe v. Wade is).
A major flaw in the SJ tumblr style of argumentation is the aggregation of moral positions to fit a simplified binary. Positions consist of “supporting the victim” or “supporting the oppressor” (mutually exclusive). And if a person falls in the latter category, he/she is a bad person and is discredited. In addition to the obvious ad hominem fallacy, this eliminates the nuance that makes a spectrum of multiple moral positions possible.
The most recent example of gross simplification is the argument on “rape jokes.” The “rape joke” has been equated with support of rape itself through an argument claiming a causal association between the two. This argument is taken without question in order to divert discourse about the “rape joke” to the easy moral question about whether rape is right or wrong.
This diversion serves two purposes. First, it permits the circumvention of answering difficult moral questions on personal liberties, hate speech, and censorship. Second, put simply, it makes it much easier to be right. There is little room for nuance regarding the moral permissibility of rape. As a result, any person who presents a nuanced view on the issue of “rape jokes” is regarded as a rape apologist (“supporter of the oppressor”) and discredited.