I know I haven’t posted anything in a while. I’ll get around to the backlog in a bit. In the meantime, EXPLAIN THIS BULLSHIT.
This is a really good one and made me think. It’s interesting that men are not shamed as often as women for masturbating. But when it comes to sex toys, women seem to have more leeway. Let me start by saying the purchase of a sex toy differs from manual masturbation because it implies that it is a more substantive source of sexual pleasure and is often considered a substitute for actual sex.
Men are often measured by their ability to pick up women. For men, the only substantive sexual pleasure they experience should be from women. If they have to purchase something substantial to satisfy their sexual needs or “substitute” a woman, they have failed as “real men.”
Women are assumed to be able to get men at any time. So a woman who spurns the attentions of men in favor of self-pleasure is seen as independent and in control of her sexuality. She knows what she wants and is more apt at satisfying herself than men. She has self-respect and isn’t just giving herself away to all those men!
What it comes down to is women are shamed for having sex, and men are shamed for not having sex (notice the virgin-shaming in the first picture). Therefore, it is more acceptable for a woman to substitute sex with a sex toy than the other way around. Both attitudes are false and harmful symptoms of patriarchy. As are the ideas that sex toys are necessarily a substitute for sex or that the amount of sex one has determines his/her worth and character.
|—||Mark Regnerus and Jeremy Uecker, Pre-Marital Sex in America|
I never had someone I could talk about sex with. It wasn’t until recently that I even thought about sex as something that I could be a part of. My parents raised me to believe it was some alien activity that only disgusting, subhuman women did. And for most of my life I believed I was cut from superior moral fabric because I didn’t have sex while simultaneously loathing myself for wanting to.
To all the young women who are going through this, you are not subhuman, you are not irresponsible, you are not disgusting. You are not a “slut.” You are a human being. And just like anything else, understanding the implications of being sexually active won’t come easily or immediately. There is no magic answer; sexual preferences are different for everyone: How much emotional value should I put into sex? Does “my first time” mean something special to me? Do I need to be in a relationship to have sex? Do no-strings-attached hook ups work for me? How sensitive should my partner be of my feelings? How much sex is too much?
These are all questions for you to answer for yourself, and unless you are harming yourself or others, what you do with your body is not a reflection of your character. You will do things you realize you are not comfortable with, but just like riding a bike, you will fall down a few times before finding your balance. Many of my girl friends come to me to talk candidly about sex free of judgment, and I want to extend that to my followers as well. I know how antagonistic the world is to women who are open about their sex lives. My ask box is always open if you have questions, comments or concerns. I’m here for you!
|—||Thomas A. Mappes, “Sexual Morality and the Concept of Using Another Person”|
The photograph has circulated and become a scandal. But only for the woman and her sorority, not for the man and his fraternity.
Can someone please explain this to me?
100% of the guys that have expressed any interest in me and pretended to be my friend have ended up attempting to manipulate me into having sex with them.
I miss high school where next to no one liked me but the ones who did liked me for my personality.