I like real people

The people who know who they are

and know who I am

and know that they don’t need to change a thing

for us to get along

who know I’m different from their other friends

just as their friends are different from me

and don’t make me feel replaceable

with generic greetings and generic questions

who feel comfortable being themselves

who don’t try to be someone they know they’re not

because they know they don’t need to impress me

because they know they aren’t fooling me

because they know it’d hurt me if they stopped being that person I cared about

That person who let their guard down

and laughed at dumb things

and cried at dumber things

and knew that I’d love them no matter what

as long as they didn’t put up their walls

as long as they didn’t make me feel like just another person

as long as they were real to me

and to themselves.

When it comes down to it, I don’t think intellect, political or religious ideology or any of the things people seem to find astronomically important really determine compatibility. Some common interests like a passion for music or sports can bring some people together and get the flame started, but in many cases opposites attract and how can you explain that?

What makes two people compatible is their ability to always enjoy and treasure being around each other, trust each other, compromise, and sacrifice for the relationship. You can’t really rationalize why you love another person or write out a list of traits that makes a relationship “work”, and I guess that’s what they call “chemistry”. That’s why dating websites aren’t foolproof. There’s more to compatibility than the concrete.

I think if two people find it worth working through their differences to keep that chemistry going, they’re compatible.

I remember when I was little I used to wonder all the time why a perfectly good person would get cancer or how a beautiful, talented singer could die in a car crash. Why would God, if he/she existed, do this?

Short answer: Shit happens. To everyone. No exceptions.

Long answer: This question holds the underlying assumption that in a perfect world, good things would happen to good people and bad things would happen to bad people as if every action and reaction in the world was the result of some Karmic game of Sudoku. The big flaw of course in this logic is that the world isn’t black and white. Nor is there a heavenly Supreme Court making fair and rational decisions about everything that occurs. The world consists much more of chance than justice.

It took me a long while to internalize the fact that there are no good people and there are no bad people. We are all complex beings with flaws. No one is perfect, nor is anyone wholly bad. And as such, every human being will indiscriminately encounter triumphs and pitfalls.

There is no cosmic force governing a reward or punishment system. We all inhabit the same earth, and we are all subject to chance.