Depression is not sadness.
Repeat after me.
Depression is not sadness.
We all experience sadness, but we do not all experience depression. There is a common strand of thought that claims that depression is a made-up illness that allows people to scapegoat their poor attitudes or inability to deal with problems. I mean, we all feel sad sometimes. Why can’t people just deal with their problems like in the good old days?
However, believing that depression is merely “sadness” is an incredibly harmful misconception that gives us a false understanding of a much more serious medical problem.
I wrote an opinion column for one of my university’s publications about the stigmatization of mental illness in response to another article published on the same paper about how people with depression need to stop popping magic pills and deal with their problems. Please share on Tumblr, Facebook, etc. I think this needs to be talked about.
I think it’s super embarrassing that the CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch straight up took pride in the fact that the demographic of his company is the kids who are “popular in school” and thereby admitted that a brand he initially intended to rival the Northeast Ivy League prep aesthetic of Ralph Lauren actually now sells primarily to spoiled 13 year old suburban children whose only claim to social relevance is bullying fat people from their lunch tables.
if you draw a causal connection between violent media and violence in real life, then doesn’t it make more sense that violent products are - well - a product of an already culturally violent society, not the other way around? if there were no DEMAND for these products, the capitalist system wouldn’t allow them to exist.
ok so a woman is obligated to be cognizant of the intentions of a man’s “friendliness” and adjust her behavior
but a man is not obligated to be cognizant of a woman’s unfavorable responses to his advances and never needs to adjust his behavior
“Ugh, well he only dates Asian girls. You’re so lucky you’re Asian.”
- a friend with a crush on a guy who apparently is afflicted with a social disease called “The Yellow Fever.”
Oh, I’m lucky? I’m lucky. Okay, so you’re saying that I’m lucky that there are guys out there with a “thing for Asians” who will only set their sights on women with small eyes and brown skin like me? I’m lucky that people will proudly proclaim their “Yellow Fever” and make me feel like the only thing that attracted them to me was my race- objectifying me as some kind of exotic treat and not treating me like an individual with value? I’m lucky that when I was internet dating last year, a guy told me that he had found me by searching for ONLY Asian women? I’m lucky that “What kind of Asian are you” is deemed a suitable ice breaker and pickup line for guys who hit on me at parties, clubs, and bars? I’m lucky that I’ve gotten told once under the guise of a compliment that I could make a lot of money in porn because I’m an Asian woman with large breasts? I’m lucky that a couple months into a relationship with my ex, I opened up his computer to check my email and I saw that he had searched “ASIAN” on a porn site and was halfway through a video with a whole bunch of white guys ejaculating on an Asian woman’s face? I’m lucky that ever since that experience I have constantly questioned if any of the other people I’ve been involved with or who have found me attractive only felt that way because I’m Asian? Right. I’m not lucky, sweetie. I’m being objectified, exotified, and hypersexualized. These are not things I will ever aspire to be or be flattered by, regardless of what society may want me to think.
For a while, I admit that I tried to use this “yellow fever” thing to my advantage. It’s incredibly easy to seal the deal with a dude that exclusively has a thing for Asian women. You literally tell them what kind of Asian you are, tell them the words you know in that language, and giggle. Giggle a lot. That’s it! But you know why it’s so easy? It’s because these guys do not give a fuck who I am. I could just as easily be another person entirely. The only thing that matters to these guys is that I’m Asian and everything else is unimportant. And, once I figured that out, it made me sick to my stomach. Settling for being treated like nothing more than an exotic souvenir gets really old really fast. I am a real person. I am an individual with depth and emotion and interests and flaws. My skin and my eyes and where my ancestors came from do NOT make me your tantric Asian sex goddess. And, if you think for one second that I will entertain your exotification of me and my people any longer, you can kiss my brown ass.
…I have absolutely nothing to add to this.
Perfect Post is Perfect.
My friend’s father put it simply: “These white people see us as toys. When they are bored, they will throw you away.”
And it’s sickening that I have to live with someone like that for one more month…and he very specifically goes for Japanese women. It terrifies me that he’s going there abroad next year. I hate him. He is scum. I’ve warned all the Japanese students he talks to here on campus about him. kdfjghkdfhg
Seriously. I warn all of my female friends from Asia to watch out for men with a exotic Asain fetish because they will hunt you. They don’t care who you are. They do not really care what country you are from we’re just blow up dolls to them.
And then there’s the ones that will date you to get a free tutor in __ language.
This is why I am extremely wary of white men.
Yes yes yes yes.
If being Asian is a must for a White guy, there are really only two things this can mean. Either he’s extremely shallow and values the Asian aesthetic above all else; that is, his only criteria in a partner is good looks and good looks only includes the Asian aesthetic.
Or more commonly, if he’s not merely shallow, he has some preconception of a non-physical commonality among all Asian women. But what could that be? I’ve asked guys with Yellow Fever what draws them to Asian women and they respond with assumptions like “They’re so humble” or “They’re well-mannered and classy” or worse “They’re submissive” and “They’re docile and know their place unlike Western women.”
If these are traits you’re looking for in a woman, then why not name those as your defining criteria? Why must this theoretical well-mannered, classy, submissive, docile woman be ASIAN? This is why I included the word “merely” in this second category, because the necessity of being Asian in addition to these non-physical traits entails a certain attraction to this aesthetic, which has, unfortunately, become inextricably attached in these guys’ heads. To them, we are ideas. Not people. This is where Yellow Fever becomes not only weird but outright racist and deeply, deeply problematic.
By assuming that all Asian women embody these traits, these men dehumanize us to nothing more than a pet. Do these descriptions remind anyone of a dog breed encyclopedia entry reading “Friendly” “Good with kids” “Energetic” etc? The idea that someone outside of my culture thinks he can define my culture, my friends, my family for me in a few phrases just reeks of colonialism and a skewed power dynamic. Do these people think the minds of Asian women are so comparatively simple that they can be studied and synthesized in the same manner as animals?
Only in a selfish society would the goal of “helping others” as a profession be scoffed at as idealistic. I guess “using others” would be more realistic.
Intellectual vs. personal discussion
I made a post a while back critiquing another post that suggested that white folk ought to stay quiet when discussing race with a person of color. However, I think there’s an important distinction to make.
In intellectual conversation and philosophical debate, your race (or gender/religion/etc) should not matter. If we’re discussing if a certain law or book or TV show or politician is racist/sexist, by all means, keep the dialogue flowing. I want to hear what you have to say. I don’t care how racist or sexist your arguments are, and I don’t care if you’ve never experienced a drop of racism or sexism in your life. All I care about is your argument, and that is what I’ll respond to.
However, when I’m talking about my personal experience, that is not up for debate. Saying “This TV show offends me because I don’t like the way it portrays women” is no different from saying “I don’t like this drink because it tastes too sweet” or something along those lines. You can’t convince me that my drink isn’t too sweet. To tell me “No, it’s not sexist. I think that’s kind of a stretch/you’re overanalyzing it/stop taking things so personally” is just like saying “No, that drink actually tastes fine. You just aren’t drinking it right.” It’s absurd. How I feel about something is not up for debate. You can say “I don’t feel the same way”, but your experience doesn’t invalidate mine.
people who list their honors program as their area of study on facebook
Do you want to know the irony in that title? The child whose life is being taken from him, didn’t have a choice.
But why does the fetus’ opinion overpower the mother’s?
What if, in this hypothetical world where fetuses have opinions, both mother and child disagree that an abortion is the best choice? Why does a ball of cell’s opinion over power that of a fully fledged person, who knows that they won’t be able to support that child.
Or, if this is supposed to be anti-abortion, what if they agree that an abortion is best, then you’ve just lost your footing.
Of all the terrible logic, this is pretty terrible.
I like how pro-lifers insist on using the word “child” instead of “conceptus”, “embryo”, or “fetus.” This one went so far as to assign it a sex too. A male child =/= a conceptus. But I guess that just doesn’t have the same ring to it…
Ok, so this timmahtime kid has been all over my dash recently, and I went through his pictures and found this. Yo, that is not how depression works. Depression is not caused by feeling ugly or being single. Depression cannot be cured by getting a boyfriend. Depression is not synonymous with sadness or low self-esteem (though these are some of its effects). This idea is totally harmful. Depression is an illness and, like any other illness, needs to be treated professionally, especially if it reaches the point of self-harm. Young girls do not need to be told that the light at the end of the tunnel is the approval of a man. Believing your ability to overcome an illness lies in the approval of others will only make you feel helpless. And believing that you can only receive this approval if you are “desirable” or “attractive” is really, really damaging. Overcoming depression is entirely within your control. You have to believe that to get better.
And to make matters worse, he posted something about not relying on others to bring you happiness…