“Ugh, well he only dates Asian girls. You’re so lucky you’re Asian.”
- a friend with a crush on a guy who apparently is afflicted with a social disease called “The Yellow Fever.”
Oh, I’m lucky? I’m lucky. Okay, so you’re saying that I’m lucky that there are guys out there with a “thing for Asians” who will only set their sights on women with small eyes and brown skin like me? I’m lucky that people will proudly proclaim their “Yellow Fever” and make me feel like the only thing that attracted them to me was my race- objectifying me as some kind of exotic treat and not treating me like an individual with value? I’m lucky that when I was internet dating last year, a guy told me that he had found me by searching for ONLY Asian women? I’m lucky that “What kind of Asian are you” is deemed a suitable ice breaker and pickup line for guys who hit on me at parties, clubs, and bars? I’m lucky that I’ve gotten told once under the guise of a compliment that I could make a lot of money in porn because I’m an Asian woman with large breasts? I’m lucky that a couple months into a relationship with my ex, I opened up his computer to check my email and I saw that he had searched “ASIAN” on a porn site and was halfway through a video with a whole bunch of white guys ejaculating on an Asian woman’s face? I’m lucky that ever since that experience I have constantly questioned if any of the other people I’ve been involved with or who have found me attractive only felt that way because I’m Asian? Right. I’m not lucky, sweetie. I’m being objectified, exotified, and hypersexualized. These are not things I will ever aspire to be or be flattered by, regardless of what society may want me to think.
For a while, I admit that I tried to use this “yellow fever” thing to my advantage. It’s incredibly easy to seal the deal with a dude that exclusively has a thing for Asian women. You literally tell them what kind of Asian you are, tell them the words you know in that language, and giggle. Giggle a lot. That’s it! But you know why it’s so easy? It’s because these guys do not give a fuck who I am. I could just as easily be another person entirely. The only thing that matters to these guys is that I’m Asian and everything else is unimportant. And, once I figured that out, it made me sick to my stomach. Settling for being treated like nothing more than an exotic souvenir gets really old really fast. I am a real person. I am an individual with depth and emotion and interests and flaws. My skin and my eyes and where my ancestors came from do NOT make me your tantric Asian sex goddess. And, if you think for one second that I will entertain your exotification of me and my people any longer, you can kiss my brown ass.
…I have absolutely nothing to add to this.
Perfect Post is Perfect.
My friend’s father put it simply: “These white people see us as toys. When they are bored, they will throw you away.”
And it’s sickening that I have to live with someone like that for one more month…and he very specifically goes for Japanese women. It terrifies me that he’s going there abroad next year. I hate him. He is scum. I’ve warned all the Japanese students he talks to here on campus about him. kdfjghkdfhg
Seriously. I warn all of my female friends from Asia to watch out for men with a exotic Asain fetish because they will hunt you. They don’t care who you are. They do not really care what country you are from we’re just blow up dolls to them.
And then there’s the ones that will date you to get a free tutor in __ language.
This is why I am extremely wary of white men.
Yes yes yes yes.
If being Asian is a must for a White guy, there are really only two things this can mean. Either he’s extremely shallow and values the Asian aesthetic above all else; that is, his only criteria in a partner is good looks and good looks only includes the Asian aesthetic.
Or more commonly, if he’s not merely shallow, he has some preconception of a non-physical commonality among all Asian women. But what could that be? I’ve asked guys with Yellow Fever what draws them to Asian women and they respond with assumptions like “They’re so humble” or “They’re well-mannered and classy” or worse “They’re submissive” and “They’re docile and know their place unlike Western women.”
If these are traits you’re looking for in a woman, then why not name those as your defining criteria? Why must this theoretical well-mannered, classy, submissive, docile woman be ASIAN? This is why I included the word “merely” in this second category, because the necessity of being Asian in addition to these non-physical traits entails a certain attraction to this aesthetic, which has, unfortunately, become inextricably attached in these guys’ heads. To them, we are ideas. Not people. This is where Yellow Fever becomes not only weird but outright racist and deeply, deeply problematic.
By assuming that all Asian women embody these traits, these men dehumanize us to nothing more than a pet. Do these descriptions remind anyone of a dog breed encyclopedia entry reading “Friendly” “Good with kids” “Energetic” etc? The idea that someone outside of my culture thinks he can define my culture, my friends, my family for me in a few phrases just reeks of colonialism and a skewed power dynamic. Do these people think the minds of Asian women are so comparatively simple that they can be studied and synthesized in the same manner as animals?